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In my head.

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Another update on my stowwy aaand a thought!

Posted by SamZee - April 8th, 2013

EDIT: I changed some little things in the story according to the comment I got. I don't think it's necessary for the plot to read it, but you can always check the improvement :P (from line 11 from the start of this part).

Aye, newgrounders who prolly won't read this,

I decided to release the continuation of my story in progress (if you haven't read the previous two releases I highly recommend you to read those first, otherwise this story might make no sense at all to you).
Also, I was thinking of making this the last release, and maaaybe release it again when it's fully done. So I can fix things in the previous content and make the plot more awesome! There isn't really a plot yet, but still.. Too, there is the risk of someone, of the few who notice my existence :P, stealing, or "taking the idea", of my work. And I'd rather not have that.

Anyway, without further ado, here the continuation of the story (part three):


He kept walking for some more miles until he saw something glimmering in the distance, and stopped for a moment. The air seemed to have gotten heavier now, it felt like he could barely breathe it. What was waiting for him over there? He had no idea and no plan whatsoever concerning defending himself, if needed. So what was he going to do if the creature appeared to be aggressive? Fleeing was an option, but maybe the thing was faster and could get to him in no time. And beside that he had no weapons, and his hand-to-hand combat wasn't that good, not good at all actually. But on top of that he really wanted something to happen in his life, and in High Standard this wasn't very likely to happen again, not anywhere else as well. Ah, he probably had nothing to worry anyway, by the looks of it the creature must have fallen from a really high distance so it would be at least too unconscious to react properly.
With that he continued walking to the glimmering and quickly reached the source of it.

At first he couldn't see a thing. From the dark and eerie environment under the trees, his new surroundings were a big change, and too much for his eyes to cope. Slowly they got used to the ocean of light and started to distinguish things. He now saw why this enormous source of light didn't bother him when he was walking to it, for the creature lied in a bowl-shaped pile of shattered wood, but the trees around it were still standing as if nothing happened. They must have been blocking all that light too a faint glimmering, he thought. He looked at the pile of what first were large strong trees and wondered how heavy the creature would be, since it shattered these kind of trees like that. As far as he knew the trees of which this forest existed were this really strong pine trees that could survive many of the bitterest cold winters, so the creature must have been or really heavy, or it really fell from a great distance. Slowly his gaze moved to the creature in the middle of that ruined piece of nature. Lots of light was coming from it and he could barely recognize something what he remembered to be an existing object in this bath of light his eyes were feasting on. He thought a bit about why the creature could emit so much light while it didn't seem to be doing that when it was falling from the sky. Was it a process that could only occur in a certain environment? Or when a certain thing happened, and only in a unique order of events? He didn't know, he couldn't know.. What was that creature and where did it came from, was the question that troubled his mind continually since he took notice of the creature falling it's fall of death. Or was it a fall of death? Was it really dead? A normal human would have died falling from this height, but then again, a normal human would have shattered to a million pieces instead of these strong trees that were laying about now.
He backed down a bit, he wasn't sure anymore if the creature would be unconscious, now it survived it's fall.
He could see clearer now, his eyes were done feasting on the light and sending too many signals to his brains, and covering his eyes a bit with his hand he observed the creature.
He now saw where the vast amount of light came from, the creature's skin - or clothing, he didn't know what to recognize as clothing and what as skin about this foreign living being - was made of some sort of insanely reflecting substance and with the trees all shattered the full moon hadn't much trouble illuminating the skin, or full armor, of the creature. He actually couldn't imagine the reflecting substance being skin, it looked so polished, so neat and symmetric, a bit like the cover of a machine, but not that blunt. This creature somehow had some kind of - how do you put that? - grace. It looked kind of.. pretty to him.
What? What did he think there? Had he hit his head somewhere while running? It was a weird creature that had fallen from the sky, how could he - not think that pretty? What was weird in thinking something pretty? It was an opinion, that's all.
While arguing with himself about the moral of having an opinion about unnatural business, he observed the creature.


And a completely unrelated picture for you guys :P

Another update on my stowwy aaand a thought!

Comments (1)

breathe*. Also, using the word 'light' twice so soon after each other looks kinda ugly. Maybe you could make something like:

'At first he couldn't see a thing. From the dark and eerie environment under the trees, his new environment (or something like that) was a big change, too much for his eyes to cope. Slowly they got used to the ocean of light (nice one, by the way) and started to distinguish things. He now saw why this enormous source of light didn't bother him when he was walking to it, for the creature [...]'

Otherwise, reads well. Love the pic too.

Owyeah, I really try to filter those situations out, but it indeed still happens that I repeat certain words so shortly after each other. I'll fix that and keep it in mind ^^.
But I'm glad you like it! I actually noticed myself using more uhm, what's it in english?, describing, associations, that kinda stuff ("beeldspraak" in dutch?). I don't know if you noticed, but I did and I quite liked it, although I also hope it didn't got tootoo much of it.